I Don’t Really Date, But Maybe I Should?

My mind wonders, and then changes, all in this single article.

I’m thinking out loud AND suddenly having an epiphany.

I HATE when people tell me that I “don’t give anyone a chance.”

I KNOW WHEN I KNOW. I can honestly say that I am not one of those people who will “develop feelings” for others. Straight away, I know if I feel something. Physical attraction comes first (obviously), but I can always tell if I would genuinely like to get to know someone better. That is why I will never be the girl who falls in love with my guy best friend, or suddenly cultivates a romantic likeness for someone who I have spent a ton of time around in a strictly platonic manner. The only reason I often turn down dates is because I would like to spare someone who does have romantic feelings for me. I’m totally down to make new friends, but unfortunately, most of the guys asking me out don’t want to be “just friends.” I’m not going to get anyone’s hopes up. I won’t lead someone on unless we are leading each other in the SAME direction. I guess I could be that girl who goes on dates for the free dinners, but something stops me every time. How much fun can it be if you aren’t with a person who you truly want to be with?

I’m never really “looking.”

I’m not big on “looking” because it often feels like forcing. I’ve been living by the whole “it will happen when it happens” thing. There is no reason to change my method now. I’ve seen many friends consistently look and hope for something, anything from another person. Most of the time, they are disappointed. The most amazing moments and people are supposed to happen to you when you least expect it. Maybe it’s because I’ve never needed a significant other, but I am content on waiting for the right people. Also, mid-20s isn’t the time to seriously date someone just for the sake of it. I think to be serious; you have to be able to envision some kind of future. I love being with myself. I’m young, and there is so much left to do. Putting ourselves first may be the best part of the millennial generation. We are not traditional in our relationships. At the same time, we don’t value our relationships as much. We don’t try to fix things because getting a divorce is always an option, right? Wrong.

Eventually, I believe someone will come along and change my mind about love and all things sappy. When that day comes, I believe I will feel everything fall into place. I will KNOW that I want to be with this person. I will be happy to spend my time with them, and maybe even share a bed.

However, I’m considering dating for experience.  

I don’t want to wake up one day and think, “Okay, I guess I should have tried more.”

At the end of the day, experience in general is what life is for. Maybe we can make friends (just friends) from dating. Free drinks make everything more fun. AND, I’ve realized that being honest about my wish for casual dating only is totally acceptable. The word casual is probably a word anyone my age would like to hear. Casual means not going in with any expectations of what is to come. Casual will make my new dating experiences fun without the strings of “Step 2.” It is possible to let someone know you aren’t looking for anything long-term before joining them for an evening rendezvous. I’ve decided that if someone has the potential to be fun and ~respectful~, I should just commit to the light conversation and candle-lit booth for the EXPERIENCE. I may not see it yet, but these experiences will better prepare me for similar events in the future. Bad dating stories are an important right of passage. Actually, any dating stories are worth it. If we aren’t creating stories then what are we even doing? I hope my newfound spontaneity is inspiring.

Side Note + Foreshadowing

Also, I absolutely loathe digital dating. But because online apps. are the main form of linking-up (and hooking-up) communication for us millennials, I may have to give in.

Please stay tuned for my swiping meltdown.


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