Things People NEED To Know About The South

I’m from Texas, and I would like to clarify a few things.

OBJECTS

Cars:

We have transportation just like everyone else. We don’t drive horses. And if we did, it would be called “steering” them. As if we could tie our horse up outside of Starbucks. Horses don’t even have cup holders. Our cars are modern too, by the way. We get the 2017 stock at our dealerships, as well. And if you do witness a 1960 Chevy. truck, just know that it’s considered  a classic.

Internet:

We have it. We are well aware of what’s going on with the rest of the world. These days, you can get WiFi and Satellite from the top of a mountain. We are just as civilized as the other coasts. Despite what the rest of the world thinks, we aren’t confined to our own little bubbles. This crazy planet is just as transparent to us.

PLACES

Farms:

Texas isn’t just one massive plain. We have cities… with paved roads, buildings and everything. We even have electricity, believe it or not. The entire region is not some off-the-map area with just one local Market. Anyway, Farms are cool. I love the idea that horses and cattle are a natural part of the land in the South. We are at one with wild animals.

Churches:

Yeah, we are religious. So??? Our beliefs are valid. Religious doesn’t mean perfect. We don’t think we are better than anyone else; we just grew up in a community that chose to worship together. While it has been decided that we are the religious, conservative, judgmental group – those stereotypical decision makers are the ones judging us right back. You never know, our prayers might save your life.

EVENTS

“Hoe-Downs”

Not common. If you asked me to Square Dance, I would draw a square with chalk and then sit down in the middle of it. Yes, we do go line dancing and two stepping. We appreciate our hillbilly bars with Jack Daniels spilled all over the floor. I guarantee our drunken selves are better than yours, as we scream the “Oh oh ohs” in “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond. We even sit on bar stools. Not haystacks.

 

 

 

 

 

Rodeos:

These are real and these are amazing. People work their entire lives to perform at the Houston Rodeo. It’s a sport, okay? A Rodeo is essentially just a celebration of our Southern/Western Style culture. Any Rodeo outside of the South is basically fake. I would also like to add that I can stay on any mechanical bull in the country for all 8 seconds. 

STEREOTYPES

Music:

Country music exists and, obviously, is the most popular genre in the South. Some of the most legendary musicians in the world come from Country. However, it is nowhere near the only genre we listen to. We have all the streaming devices. We have the same level of consumption. FYI: Many Hip Hop artists were originated from Houston, TX. 

Fashion:

Cowboy hats, cowboy boots, leather chaps… whatever. Unless you live on the farm, this kind of gear only applies in certain settings, like that of a Rodeo or country bar. In the cities, we wear normal, up to date outfits. We even have style. Texas has some of the largest shopping malls in the country, complete with every major department store. I own a Nordstroms credit card.

Food:

No holding back – we DO have the best BBQ. The South feels like home whether you are actually from there or not, because everything is home cooked. It may not be gluten free, but it’s hearty and soulful. The South comes with specialties, like Cajun and Mexican dishes. We are blessed with queso (aka cheese dip) AND Dr. Pepper. What do you have?

CONCEPTS

Education:

Yo, guess what? We go to school. We have degrees. The South isn’t full of high school drop-outs who spend the rest of their lives as a ranch hand. Like me, many other Southerners have had plenty of opportunities, making us educated and cultured. Our accents don’t stop us from being well spoken. Not to mention, saying “y’all” is much more convenient than saying “you all.” It’s just faster. Why waste time?

Open Minds:

Not all Southern folks are narrow-minded. Many of us are open to new possibilities and new types of people. We don’t limit ourselves to a box, nor do we function from inside those limitations. The only people who are close-minded are the people who have never been exposed to what is deemed “different.” You can find those people anywhere. That a human mistake, not a Southern one.

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