“Wow. You’re so LA.”
Honestly, that doesn’t offend me.
If I actually am “so LA,” it’s in the best ways. I know I haven’t changed as a human being. Being “LA” isn’t the same as being too “Hollywood.” You know what I mean? I’m still Haley, the sarcastic girl from Texas with the hard exterior and soft interior. I’ve only changed my habits.
I’ve compiled a list of activities that outsiders deem to be “so LA.” I’ve also compiled a list of my own arguments against them. What did you expect from me?
Guess what? We’re going to live longer. What is so basic about being healthy? Ever since I moved to California, I’ve never been healthier. Juicing is great. It’s cleansing, filled with natural vitamins, and it tastes yummy. Why is kale made fun of when it’s so much fresher than romaine lettuce? Why can no one outside of here pronounce Quinoa or Acaí correctly? I don’t believe we are the ones with the problem. We are just trying to take care of ourselves. It has nothing to do with being thin or beautiful (though that’s another plus), it’s about how it makes us feel.
Of course we spend time on the beach more than other people in the states – excluding Hawaii. Have you seen our beach? It’s so much better than yours. The surfers are real surfers (because they have actual waves to surf on), the tan lines are darker, the water is prettier, and the sand is cleaner. If getting too much sun is a sin, then whatever, I like being guilty. The beach is like California’s state landscape, kind of like Nevada and its deserts. It’s not our fault that the chosen landscape is so enjoyable. “Beaches and Babes” is our proud motto. We are not ashamed.
In Los Angeles, we are all professional photographers. We know where to shoot, how to pose, and how to download the application that makes all of our photos “polaroid-y.” It’s a talent and not to be joked about. Have you seen our Instagrams? Our views are sick. The palm trees are authentic. The sky is really that blue. Why wouldn’t we live our best lives here? We capture memories. I admit that, I too, am over the “traffic selfies.” A) It just reminds everyone of how bad the traffic actually is. B) I bet most of the suspects aren’t even really sitting in traffic. They just know they look good.
We’re cute. We have style. What can we do? We like trends and trend-setting. We relish the catwalk. It’s fun. It’s a hobby. We are allowed to take fashion risks here because nobody will ever look at you and think, “What the heck are they wearing?” It’s LA. Everything goes. We like to feel like we fit. Be one with the City of Dreams. It gives us a real adrenaline rush. Anything that makes people feel good is never a bad thing – except drugs, of course. I have developed a confidence and desire to be my true self. Everyone can be themselves here, and I don’t just mean style wise.
Nobody can say anything bad about live music. If having it anywhere anytime is so overrated, then so am I. Besides, we need something to drown out the sounds of the honking and the druggies having yelling matches with nearby parking meters. Yes, the majority of the city listens to their therapists. Who decided therapy was frowned upon anyway? It gives us all a better outlook on life. Maybe it makes us a more peaceful group of civilians. Being “so LA” has taught me to talk it out and see it through. I never applied the self-help techniques before. I legit helped myself.
Not only do we save ourselves. We save the pets. We save the people. We save the planet. (That would be my slogan if I ever ran for mayor.) Our city is full of those “Justice Warriors” that people roll their eyes at. Our city tries to push the movements, makes the changes. #AdoptDon’tShop! Is rescuing animals from being euthanized so bad? Is having a real voice against the system(s) so horrible? It’s not about agreeing, it’s about achieving. How can any of us achieve without making a little noise? For the record, recycling isn’t paranoia, it’s just plain considerate.
So, you see, I might be “so LA,” but I’m also so much better off this way. Thanks. Notice how I didn’t mention the Marijuana phenomenon? Or all the money I don’t have? Or the Range Rover I don’t drive? Guess I’m not that LA after all.