The Golden Couples

What is a Golden Couple?

When I say “Golden Couples,” I am referring to the small list of couples in Hollywood that most people think (or thought) will (or would) MAKE IT ALL THE WAY. Every time one of these Golden Couples breakup, we are left genuinely shocked and even a tad devastated like we really know them or something. Each time a Golden Couple calls it quits, I believe in love a little less. Well, love in the entertainment industry anyway.

The Breakup Statement

“We are just best friends. Our relationship isn’t romantic anymore. We still love and respect each other.”

 Okay? Celebrity couples need to understand that every relationship goes through phases where the love feels more like companionship. That is what marriage is all about. IT’S NORMAL. I don’t know these peeps personally, but I feel like couples give up too easily these days. It’s like their lifestyle doesn’t leave any room for periods of boredom or trying to make it work.

It’s pretty easy to move on when A) You have the money B) You have the resources C) You have a line of other people who would date you in a heartbeat. Not to mention, nobody will ever be looked down upon for getting a divorce in Hollywood. Getting a divorce is like breathing. On to the next spouse breath. Am I being too harsh?

B4 You Judge Me: Obviously, if there is a real issue OR severe misery involved, going their separate ways is the right thing to do. Sometimes, I think celebrity couples mistake the fading of the honeymoon phase as unhappiness, which isn’t the case.

Note: Bachelor Nation breakups DO NOT COUNT. What did you expect? The people directly involved are hardly disturbed by the separation.

[Please view the Golden Couple outline below.]

 

Ex-Golden Couples: The Heartbreakers

Subject I |

DENIAL: I can’t believe they called it quits.

1. Channing Tatum + Jenna Dewan

Channing + Jenna

2. Chris Pratt + Anna Farris

Chris + Anna

3. Brad Pitt + Angelina Jolie

Brad + Angie

4. Justin Theroux + Jennifer Aniston

Justin + Jennifer

Golden Couples: Who We Have Left

Subject II |

DESPARATION: Stay together, plz.

1. John Legend + Chrissy Teigen

John + Chrissy

2. John Krasinski + Emily Blunt

John K. + Emily

3. David + Victoria Beckham

David + Victoria

4. Dax Shepard + Kristen Bell

Dax + Kristen

5. Ryan Reynolds + Blake Lively

Ryan + Blake

6. Will Smith + Jada Pinkett Smith

Will + Jada

7. Portia de Rossi + Ellen DeGeneres

Portia + Ellen

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